Accoutrement

Accoutrement

I always think that I should write a few extra entries for times like this when I'm traveling and have only moments to get something out. But instead, I end up talking about something that has nothing to do with the word. It's no wonder my reader ignores me for days on end. Suddenly, I go to stats and I'm a flatliner. A FLATLINER! Do you know what it's like to be a flatliner?!?!? No little bumps in the statistical landscape. Come winter, there'll be no skiing or sledding on my statistical mountains! I got so depressed I took my name off the National Do-Not-Call list just so people will ring me up.

"Mr. Briedank?"
"Oh hey, could you do me a favor? Go to http://touchedinthegreymatter.blogspot.com/ and read it to me."
"I'm sorry Mr. Briendank, I can't..."
"No seriously, you have to go there and read it to me!"
"I'm sorry, I..."
"But that's why I called you!"
"Mr Briedank, you didn't call me, I called you."
"Yes, so I could show you my blog!"
"Actually, sir, I'm wondering if you would like to lower your interest rate."
"On my blog? I'm trying to raise the interest rate!"
"I meant on your credit cards."
"Why would I wanna raise the interest rates on my credit cards? That's silly."
"I can only help you lower the interest on your credit cards."
"Well then why did I call you?"
"You didn't sir; I called you."
"Oh...you wanna read my blog?"
"Sir, I can't..."
"Well, then I can't either!"

See that? See how well that works?

Oh wait.

Damn it!!