Cerebrate
Isn't this one of the types of angels that came down at - lo! - that first Christmas? the seraphim and cerebrate? Which would make sense since Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel with God in a brain. Oh, and there's one in God's neck, too. So the question then is, why don't we ever see those flying brains in nativity scenes at Christmas? We see all kind of seraphim, but never any cerebrate. If I were a cerebrate I would not be happy! Seems rather prejudiced, ifn* you ask me.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Why do certain angels like to go to certain wedding receptions?"
"I give up. Why do certain angels like to go to certain wedding receptions?"
"Because they like to...Cerebrate Good Times, Come On!"
"Wow, I did not know that! Does that have anything to do with YMCA?"
"Only that both are usually played at the same receptions. On the other hand, what does it say that YMCA is now danced to more often by straight people than gay?"
"That straight guys are now sporting fairy tails not knowing that they're signaling to the world that they're gay like in the '80s?"
"Tsk, you've heard it before."
*To the Russian bot that keeps checking for ways to hack my blog: 'ifn' is a colloquialism said by the same type of person who would say "Storm's a-brewin', Pa!" And as the 'sband can attest, I sometimes like to say "Storm's a-brewin', Pa" even when there's not a storm a-brewing, nor is my pa around. I just like saying it. "Storm's a-brewin', Pa!" Whisper it. Now look at the person nearest to you and say it out loud - with emotion! Isn't that fun? As usual, you're welcome.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Tonsorial
Tonsorial
When I was growing up, the household shampoo of choice was Prell. People washed their hair fewer times back then because they usually lost a handful of it trying to comb out all the just-washed snarls. I used to be fascinated by the commercials where they dropped a pearl in a bottle of Prell to show how thick and rich it was.
They sold so much shampoo by dropping something into it that other companies picked up on the fad. I remember a Palmolive dish soap commercial where they wanted to drop in a kitchen utensil, but still show the bottle. Fine idea, but they dropped in a chop stick - during the '60s! During that time you show a chop stick and dish soap, the TV viewers kept waiting for the Asian cleaning woman to show up. So Ajax dish soap moved the liquid out of the bottle and into a tall bucket and dropped in the pitcher of a blender. People loved watching it settle to bottom of the clear liquid - sold like hotcakes. Undeterred, the makers of Joy used a tank and dropped in an entire counter-top mixer - base and all! Remember, the 60s, this thing weighed sixty pounds! People liked watching it sink to the bottom - the electric cord stretching overhead - but unfortunately by then the cycle was coming to an end, being replaced by the germaphobe ads that we have today.
7-Up decided to get in on the act, too. To show that their soda was clear and natural, they dropped in a lemon seed. Very effective. So Mountain Dew decided to drop something in their product. Since it's the color of...uh...sunshine...they couldn't think of what to drop, but decided to go with the whole mountain theme and dropped in a pine nut. Yes, I know, but they tried. And considering Euell Gibbons was the only person in the US of A eating pine nuts during the '60s, this was risky. Unfortunately for RC cola, they didn't have much of an advertising budget and couldn't get beyond the Dew commercial, so theirs was a glass container with their soda into which they dropped a pine cone. Really, guys, a pine cone? Not only did the choice of dropped item not make any sense, the cone was kept aloft by the carbonation. They tried it without the carbonation but even when the weighted cone did finally sink, you couldn't see it through the caramel color. Go figure.
The dropped item to end all dropped items (literally) in advertising was when Tide tried dropping a kid wearing dirty clothes into its laundry detergent. Remember, this was the 60s and all laundry detergents were powder, so when they dropped the kid from the crane, he landed with a thud and just laid there. He decided to improvise and tried to swim around in it, but ended up just sneezing from it getting up his nose. They spent $14M on that commercial it never even aired. The share holders were not happy!
But I don't care what anyone says. While watching things sink is fun, you don't need to drop things to be effective. You just need Ann Miller and Busby Berkeley.*
*The commercial was for Heinz, not Campbell's.
When I was growing up, the household shampoo of choice was Prell. People washed their hair fewer times back then because they usually lost a handful of it trying to comb out all the just-washed snarls. I used to be fascinated by the commercials where they dropped a pearl in a bottle of Prell to show how thick and rich it was.
They sold so much shampoo by dropping something into it that other companies picked up on the fad. I remember a Palmolive dish soap commercial where they wanted to drop in a kitchen utensil, but still show the bottle. Fine idea, but they dropped in a chop stick - during the '60s! During that time you show a chop stick and dish soap, the TV viewers kept waiting for the Asian cleaning woman to show up. So Ajax dish soap moved the liquid out of the bottle and into a tall bucket and dropped in the pitcher of a blender. People loved watching it settle to bottom of the clear liquid - sold like hotcakes. Undeterred, the makers of Joy used a tank and dropped in an entire counter-top mixer - base and all! Remember, the 60s, this thing weighed sixty pounds! People liked watching it sink to the bottom - the electric cord stretching overhead - but unfortunately by then the cycle was coming to an end, being replaced by the germaphobe ads that we have today.
7-Up decided to get in on the act, too. To show that their soda was clear and natural, they dropped in a lemon seed. Very effective. So Mountain Dew decided to drop something in their product. Since it's the color of...uh...sunshine...they couldn't think of what to drop, but decided to go with the whole mountain theme and dropped in a pine nut. Yes, I know, but they tried. And considering Euell Gibbons was the only person in the US of A eating pine nuts during the '60s, this was risky. Unfortunately for RC cola, they didn't have much of an advertising budget and couldn't get beyond the Dew commercial, so theirs was a glass container with their soda into which they dropped a pine cone. Really, guys, a pine cone? Not only did the choice of dropped item not make any sense, the cone was kept aloft by the carbonation. They tried it without the carbonation but even when the weighted cone did finally sink, you couldn't see it through the caramel color. Go figure.
The dropped item to end all dropped items (literally) in advertising was when Tide tried dropping a kid wearing dirty clothes into its laundry detergent. Remember, this was the 60s and all laundry detergents were powder, so when they dropped the kid from the crane, he landed with a thud and just laid there. He decided to improvise and tried to swim around in it, but ended up just sneezing from it getting up his nose. They spent $14M on that commercial it never even aired. The share holders were not happy!
But I don't care what anyone says. While watching things sink is fun, you don't need to drop things to be effective. You just need Ann Miller and Busby Berkeley.*
*The commercial was for Heinz, not Campbell's.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Gimbal
Gimbal
I'm proud to announce that this is the 100th Touched in the Grey Matter blog entry! Sometimes I can't believe that so many interesting things are going on in my life that I can write true and accurate reports on a daily basis.
Anyway, because of this milestone, I'm very excited to write a few words about 'gimbal.' It reminds me of one my first dates with the (now) 'sband where he and I went to an ethnic restaurant. I played it safe and got the satay platter with chicken and pork, but the future 'sband said,
"I'll have the Resep Gimbal Mi."
"Wow," thought I, "a continental!"
So the next time we went out, I said, "I'll have the taco dengan ayam."
Both the 'sband and the server looked at me like I had dropped the F-bomb or something.
"I'd like the taco dengan ayam," I repeated more slowly. (I was going to say it louder, but heard that doesn't really help - go figure.)
The server: "Are you saying some sort of taco?"
"Well, I guess if you want to be pedestrian about it, yes, with chicken." I looked at the future 'sband. "I was saying it in Malay...can't she speak the language?"
"This is a Mexican restaurant. They don't speak Malay in Mexico."
"Fine," quoth I, "what's Spanish for 'taco'?"
"Taco," returned he.
Oh, crap. What fun is that?
"I'll have the number 24. And a jarry-toe soda."
"Ummm...OK...a Jarritos soda, what flavor?"
"Red."
"Coming right up."
You know, no matter how many languages and words exist for the same thing in the world, when it comes to artificially-flavored sugary product, "red" is universal. I love that!
I'm proud to announce that this is the 100th Touched in the Grey Matter blog entry! Sometimes I can't believe that so many interesting things are going on in my life that I can write true and accurate reports on a daily basis.
Anyway, because of this milestone, I'm very excited to write a few words about 'gimbal.' It reminds me of one my first dates with the (now) 'sband where he and I went to an ethnic restaurant. I played it safe and got the satay platter with chicken and pork, but the future 'sband said,
"I'll have the Resep Gimbal Mi."
"Wow," thought I, "a continental!"
So the next time we went out, I said, "I'll have the taco dengan ayam."
Both the 'sband and the server looked at me like I had dropped the F-bomb or something.
"I'd like the taco dengan ayam," I repeated more slowly. (I was going to say it louder, but heard that doesn't really help - go figure.)
The server: "Are you saying some sort of taco?"
"Well, I guess if you want to be pedestrian about it, yes, with chicken." I looked at the future 'sband. "I was saying it in Malay...can't she speak the language?"
"This is a Mexican restaurant. They don't speak Malay in Mexico."
"Fine," quoth I, "what's Spanish for 'taco'?"
"Taco," returned he.
Oh, crap. What fun is that?
"I'll have the number 24. And a jarry-toe soda."
"Ummm...OK...a Jarritos soda, what flavor?"
"Red."
"Coming right up."
You know, no matter how many languages and words exist for the same thing in the world, when it comes to artificially-flavored sugary product, "red" is universal. I love that!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Spoonerism
Spoonerism
When I first saw the word I thought it had to do with cuddling with another person. Or perhaps the language used in discussing it, like slang - spoonerisms, as it were.
Speaking of which, when I was growing up, Saturday morning was inundated with Hanna-Barbera cartoons. I found them entertaining, but even as a kid I knew the animation was pretty cheap and shoddy. However, nothing produced by them could hold the caverbial prondle to Clutch Cargo. Not only is it the worst animation ever, it's just plain super creepy to watch. Not sure how many times I actually watched it as a kid - I barely remember it - but thank goodness for Youtube. Bad animation and fabulously offensive to boot - what could be better? The other clip I was thinking of linking to had a character named Swampy. I'm thinking it was a nickname. I mean really, who would name their kid Swampy??
When I first saw the word I thought it had to do with cuddling with another person. Or perhaps the language used in discussing it, like slang - spoonerisms, as it were.
Speaking of which, when I was growing up, Saturday morning was inundated with Hanna-Barbera cartoons. I found them entertaining, but even as a kid I knew the animation was pretty cheap and shoddy. However, nothing produced by them could hold the caverbial prondle to Clutch Cargo. Not only is it the worst animation ever, it's just plain super creepy to watch. Not sure how many times I actually watched it as a kid - I barely remember it - but thank goodness for Youtube. Bad animation and fabulously offensive to boot - what could be better? The other clip I was thinking of linking to had a character named Swampy. I'm thinking it was a nickname. I mean really, who would name their kid Swampy??
Monday, July 30, 2012
Deep-six
Deep-six
Wow, needless to say, if yer dirty minded, yer brain went somewhere not quite to what the definition is. You know who you are.* So, when you ask someone about their relationship and they say they were deep-sixed, remember, it may not be something to be happy about.
Those crazy leadsmen and their crazy slang, tho! Makes me wonder if they had a special term for every foot of water
- Shallow water
- Mark twain
- Triple plunger
- Waste high
- Fingers galore
- Six deep
- Lucky seven
- Eight it yesterday
- No-way nine
- Big fat hen
- Leavened 'leven
- Apostles at dinner
- Joined by Jesus
- Mary made it
- Sans a foot
- Pushing twenty
- Old enough for me
- I can kill but I can't drink
- College boy thinks he's so freaking cool reading his stupid poetry and philosophy and crap. I'd liked to see him work like a real man for once.
- Dos equis
- Let's party!
- Dos dos equis
I could do this all day, but I got the biscuits on. It's amazing, tho, how so many different slang terms became universal. Did I ever tell you who my favorite sailor was in Peter Jackson's King Kong? I did? Well, I do write this five times a week - it's not like I can remember everything I ever write!!
*I should hope so. If you don't know who you are, how could anyone else? Unless you have amnesia and everyone is telling you that you are the brother of Jake who was just kidnapped by his evil twin brother after Jake broke up Carly and Sam because he knew that Sam didn't actually love Carly but just went after her because Sam was going to get in good with the family and bring it down from within. Unless yer that person, you know who you are.
Wow, needless to say, if yer dirty minded, yer brain went somewhere not quite to what the definition is. You know who you are.* So, when you ask someone about their relationship and they say they were deep-sixed, remember, it may not be something to be happy about.
Those crazy leadsmen and their crazy slang, tho! Makes me wonder if they had a special term for every foot of water
- Shallow water
- Mark twain
- Triple plunger
- Waste high
- Fingers galore
- Six deep
- Lucky seven
- Eight it yesterday
- No-way nine
- Big fat hen
- Leavened 'leven
- Apostles at dinner
- Joined by Jesus
- Mary made it
- Sans a foot
- Pushing twenty
- Old enough for me
- I can kill but I can't drink
- College boy thinks he's so freaking cool reading his stupid poetry and philosophy and crap. I'd liked to see him work like a real man for once.
- Dos equis
- Let's party!
- Dos dos equis
I could do this all day, but I got the biscuits on. It's amazing, tho, how so many different slang terms became universal. Did I ever tell you who my favorite sailor was in Peter Jackson's King Kong? I did? Well, I do write this five times a week - it's not like I can remember everything I ever write!!
*I should hope so. If you don't know who you are, how could anyone else? Unless you have amnesia and everyone is telling you that you are the brother of Jake who was just kidnapped by his evil twin brother after Jake broke up Carly and Sam because he knew that Sam didn't actually love Carly but just went after her because Sam was going to get in good with the family and bring it down from within. Unless yer that person, you know who you are.
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