Argot
I cannot see that word without thinking of the cornstarch. OK, this is just bizarre. In looking for an example of the cornstarch, I came across amylophagia, which is the compulsive eating of starch. Holy crap, there's one for the who knew? file.
Moving on.
I love the Henry Fielding quip: "court gibberish." I think we can all agree (at least those of us who have worked there) that "corporate gibberish" can be added to the list.
Speaking of argot, you may remember that last week I referred to The Guy I Love as my 'sband. So I'm thinking to myneself, I'm thinking, myneself, I think we should put 'sband in the Urban Dictionary. So I create the entry and it seems pretty cut and dry when suddenly I get a message stating that an editor will look at it and get back to me.
WHAT?!?!?!?!
Urban Dictionary has editors?!?! They have gatekeepers?? And my word is still not out there! Perhaps it's because I said it was first used in this blog and they could see that it was shameless self-promotion(?). (What other kind is there?) So as you can imagine, I'm sitting here rather distraught.* I'll give it another week and try again, darn it!
*Luckily I remembered to don my pearls for easy grasping!
PS: If you're enjoying my li'l blog here, howzaboutz sharin' it with someone?
Friday, May 18, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Accident
Accident
After reading the 'Did You Know?' section, I came to the decision that, unless used as a synonym for the blustery season of autumn, the word 'fall' is here now declared stricken from myne vocabulary. From now on things shall not fall - they shall cascade.
I tripp'd upon errant trait hidden within the carpet depths and cascaded down the stairs.
Isn't that nicer than
I tripped and fell.
?
I knew you'd agree. Of course, I cannot think upon said statement without somehow conjuring up the image of 30 feet of taffeta being somehow involved. The most joyful part of course, is not only is it a more colorful image, but said cascader of said steps donning said taffeta would undoubtedly land with neither bruise nor scrape. Just like a baby duck. Except with more rolling. And taffeta. And undoubtedly the wearing of beads for clutching. And instead of your mom waiting at the bottom to lead you to the lake, it would be your savior waiting to swoop you up and comfort you. Oops, wrong savior.
After reading the 'Did You Know?' section, I came to the decision that, unless used as a synonym for the blustery season of autumn, the word 'fall' is here now declared stricken from myne vocabulary. From now on things shall not fall - they shall cascade.
I tripp'd upon errant trait hidden within the carpet depths and cascaded down the stairs.
Isn't that nicer than
I tripped and fell.
?
I knew you'd agree. Of course, I cannot think upon said statement without somehow conjuring up the image of 30 feet of taffeta being somehow involved. The most joyful part of course, is not only is it a more colorful image, but said cascader of said steps donning said taffeta would undoubtedly land with neither bruise nor scrape. Just like a baby duck. Except with more rolling. And taffeta. And undoubtedly the wearing of beads for clutching. And instead of your mom waiting at the bottom to lead you to the lake, it would be your savior waiting to swoop you up and comfort you. Oops, wrong savior.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Skulk
Skulk
Did you read the 'Did You Know' section? Damn, how could I not have guessed - if not just plain known - that all those lovely little words were of Scandinavian origin from the 13th Century?? Wow. It's like listing a bunch of celebrities - "what do all these famous people have in common?"
"Give up?"
"If you guessed 'all of them have mothers with the middle name of Anna,' you're right!!"
And here you thought it was because they were all murdered during intercourse in the Friday the 13th movies back in the 80s.
But then I think, well, just because I couldn't guess, that doesn't mean no one could have. I've said before that I think everyone should be a geek about something. Quick! Name the silent movie with this intertitle: "Tush, tush, this is no place to eat onions!" (You don't know...???)
Back to Scandinavia - from what I see, does this mean that the Scandinavian languages only have one-syllable words? That would certainly make things easier. But could you imagine the national Spelling Bees?? The kid who wins isn't the last to spell the word correctly, it's the last standing before they all just fall asleep. It's sort of like the dance marathon of spelling bees! Cool!
Did you read the 'Did You Know' section? Damn, how could I not have guessed - if not just plain known - that all those lovely little words were of Scandinavian origin from the 13th Century?? Wow. It's like listing a bunch of celebrities - "what do all these famous people have in common?"
"Give up?"
"If you guessed 'all of them have mothers with the middle name of Anna,' you're right!!"
And here you thought it was because they were all murdered during intercourse in the Friday the 13th movies back in the 80s.
But then I think, well, just because I couldn't guess, that doesn't mean no one could have. I've said before that I think everyone should be a geek about something. Quick! Name the silent movie with this intertitle: "Tush, tush, this is no place to eat onions!" (You don't know...???)
Back to Scandinavia - from what I see, does this mean that the Scandinavian languages only have one-syllable words? That would certainly make things easier. But could you imagine the national Spelling Bees?? The kid who wins isn't the last to spell the word correctly, it's the last standing before they all just fall asleep. It's sort of like the dance marathon of spelling bees! Cool!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Hiatus
Hiatus
Laurence Sterne is myne hero du jour. How great would it be to say to someone, "I was so embarrassed when I was getting ready for bed! I realized that the entire day I'd been walking around with a hiatus in the seat of my pants!" Wow. That wouldn't confuse anyone!
"And when he left me, I had a hiatus in my heart!"*
"Here, take this shovel and dig a hiatus for the dead body."
Alright enough of that.
Uh oh. Me in trouble.
Remember yesterday when I said that I looked silly smoking in my late teens but that it was the only time I ever did (look silly)? Welcome to Looking Silly Time the sequel. I know you're all going to laugh at me, but - oh cripes, major confession time here - I've been going through life confusing hiatuses with diphthongs. From Wikipedia:
"A diphthong, also known as a gliding vowel, refers to two adjacent vowel sounds occurring within the same syllable. Technically, a diphthong is a vowel with two different targets: That is, the tongue moves during the pronunciation of the vowel. In most dialects of English, the words eye, hay, boy, low, and cow contain diphthongs.
"Diphthongs contrast with monophthongs, where the tongue doesn't move and only one vowel sound is heard in a syllable. Where two adjacent vowel sounds occur in different syllables—for example, in the English word re-elect—the result is described as hiatus, not as a diphthong."
Man. I need to go now and hiatus.***
*Which is almost Shakespearean in its ambiguity, thank you very much.
**Oops, forget I said that.
***No idea what I meant by that. I'm just so crest fallen with ignominy that I can't think of a decent ending.
Laurence Sterne is myne hero du jour. How great would it be to say to someone, "I was so embarrassed when I was getting ready for bed! I realized that the entire day I'd been walking around with a hiatus in the seat of my pants!" Wow. That wouldn't confuse anyone!
"And when he left me, I had a hiatus in my heart!"*
"Here, take this shovel and dig a hiatus for the dead body."
Alright enough of that.
Uh oh. Me in trouble.
Remember yesterday when I said that I looked silly smoking in my late teens but that it was the only time I ever did (look silly)? Welcome to Looking Silly Time the sequel. I know you're all going to laugh at me, but - oh cripes, major confession time here - I've been going through life confusing hiatuses with diphthongs. From Wikipedia:
"A diphthong, also known as a gliding vowel, refers to two adjacent vowel sounds occurring within the same syllable. Technically, a diphthong is a vowel with two different targets: That is, the tongue moves during the pronunciation of the vowel. In most dialects of English, the words eye, hay, boy, low, and cow contain diphthongs.
"Diphthongs contrast with monophthongs, where the tongue doesn't move and only one vowel sound is heard in a syllable. Where two adjacent vowel sounds occur in different syllables—for example, in the English word re-elect—the result is described as hiatus, not as a diphthong."
For years I've been telling people that hiatuses were diphthongs. DAMN! I feel like I need to call my sponsor and make amends to like fifty people!!** I didn't even know the hiatus existed!! The only reason diphthongs ever came up in conversation was because when a team name needed to be created, I always suggested Esoteric Diphthong. Seriously, isn't that the best team name for anything ever?? Unfortunately, I'm evidently the only one who thinks so.
Man. I need to go now and hiatus.***
*Which is almost Shakespearean in its ambiguity, thank you very much.
**Oops, forget I said that.
***No idea what I meant by that. I'm just so crest fallen with ignominy that I can't think of a decent ending.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Recalcitrant
Recalcitrant
I'll admit, when I was going through my rebel years (and when I say years, I mean years), I never referred to it as rebelling. I referred to it as recalcitrating.
Mom: Where are you going?
Me: Out for my evening recalcitrational.
I'm not sure but I think they thought I meant to say 'evening constitutional' and just didn't have much of a grasp on the language English.*
At the time, of course, my 'evening recalcitration' was walking down to the local biker bar** where no upstanding community member's kid would ever have been seen. I loved it. I'd don a ripped up T-shirt and trashed gym shorts and go barefooted (the laws were different back then). I got called an anti-gay slur once, not directly to my face, but in a conversation he made sure I heard*** and a woman with him immediately stood up for me - I'm not even sure I knew her. I thought that was very cool.
Since I was barefooted and walking I'd get huge water blisters and bits of glass shards on the bottom of my feet. I thought digging glass out of my feet the next day was the most bad-ass thing ever. Actually I take that back. I just thought it was funny.
Oh yea, and I smoked for a few months. So silly. Now that I thought was bad-ass! Luckily the brand I chose was mentholated, and they messed me up so much I never really got into it. I'm sort of glad I chose the brand I did, though, cuz after that I had some regulars, and they were actually quite nice. Now when I see a teen thinking s/he is cool smoking and obviously doing it for effect I think back on how I musta looked. Silly.
But mind you, it was only once in my life that I looked silly.
*See what I did there? I took liberties and reversed the words like in The Brothers Karamazov~ or The Sisters Gish. Clever, huh?
~Speaking of the Bros K, many years ago I was paying Trivial Pursuit with the siblings and the question came up, "what brothers in Russian literature blah blah blah." I gave the correct answer and the sibs all looked at me like I was crazy. "How did you know that?" quoth one of they. "I'm an English major," replied I. Shoot, while I was an English major, it's not like I had actually read it. I just figured, it's the American version of Trivial Pursuit, how many Russian brothers can there be that would make it into the game?
**Motorcycle, that is, not bicycle.
***Obviously the guy had a crush on me - they all do, you know. I mean, not just me, but on whomever they spew a slur. The bigger the slur the bigger the crush.
I'll admit, when I was going through my rebel years (and when I say years, I mean years), I never referred to it as rebelling. I referred to it as recalcitrating.
Mom: Where are you going?
Me: Out for my evening recalcitrational.
I'm not sure but I think they thought I meant to say 'evening constitutional' and just didn't have much of a grasp on the language English.*
At the time, of course, my 'evening recalcitration' was walking down to the local biker bar** where no upstanding community member's kid would ever have been seen. I loved it. I'd don a ripped up T-shirt and trashed gym shorts and go barefooted (the laws were different back then). I got called an anti-gay slur once, not directly to my face, but in a conversation he made sure I heard*** and a woman with him immediately stood up for me - I'm not even sure I knew her. I thought that was very cool.
Since I was barefooted and walking I'd get huge water blisters and bits of glass shards on the bottom of my feet. I thought digging glass out of my feet the next day was the most bad-ass thing ever. Actually I take that back. I just thought it was funny.
Oh yea, and I smoked for a few months. So silly. Now that I thought was bad-ass! Luckily the brand I chose was mentholated, and they messed me up so much I never really got into it. I'm sort of glad I chose the brand I did, though, cuz after that I had some regulars, and they were actually quite nice. Now when I see a teen thinking s/he is cool smoking and obviously doing it for effect I think back on how I musta looked. Silly.
But mind you, it was only once in my life that I looked silly.
*See what I did there? I took liberties and reversed the words like in The Brothers Karamazov~ or The Sisters Gish. Clever, huh?
~Speaking of the Bros K, many years ago I was paying Trivial Pursuit with the siblings and the question came up, "what brothers in Russian literature blah blah blah." I gave the correct answer and the sibs all looked at me like I was crazy. "How did you know that?" quoth one of they. "I'm an English major," replied I. Shoot, while I was an English major, it's not like I had actually read it. I just figured, it's the American version of Trivial Pursuit, how many Russian brothers can there be that would make it into the game?
**Motorcycle, that is, not bicycle.
***Obviously the guy had a crush on me - they all do, you know. I mean, not just me, but on whomever they spew a slur. The bigger the slur the bigger the crush.
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