Solstitial

Solstitial

Hey, happy Aphelion Day!! If it seems like the temperature has dropped where you are overnight, it's because we're now the furthest away from the sun! I know what yer saying, tho, yer saying,

"What? Aphelion? Why, BrieDank, isn't the solstice when we're the furthest away from the sun?"

That's just another LIE the education system has forced upon us. The solstice is when the sun hits the highest point north of the equator; has nothing to do with how far away from the sun the earth is. And the government wonders why we don't trust it. Watergate, Iran-Contra, and now this.

But on to things that are more about me. Take myne advice, when you grab your parasol for going out to the shops, always be sure the grab the right one. So embarrassing. I thought I had grabbed the right one from our parasol stand, but when I got downtown and opened it, lo and behold! it was the parasol for the patio furniture on the back deck. OOPS! I thought it seemed heavy when I lifted it, but it wasn't until I opened it that I realized I suddenly had six feet of canvas over my head. Have you ever tried to go through a revolving door with an open patio parasol? It's not fun! There I was, stuck in my little partition with the parasol wide open outside behind me not able to move because the person on the other side just kept pushing and pushing.

"Hello!" quoth I banging on the glass vainly trying to get his attention. "Can't you see the handle of the parasol is stuck? Stop pushing, you're only making it worse!"

So I forgot to close my parasol before entering the revolving door - an honest mistake that could happen to anyone! We ended up being stuck there for almost three hours. A metal-worker guy finally came along with a blow torch or something and cut through the pole. It was all very high drama.

Anyway, now when people come over and eat outside at our place, everyone has to lean forward in their chair so they can fit under the parasol. Stupid short handle.