Managerie

Managerie

I can't see that word without thinking of a certain play. I'm sure you know which one I mean, but I'll give you a clue if you don't:

"Riiiiiiiiise and shiiine!! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise and Shiiine!"

I swear, if I lived with a mother who woke me up every morning saying that - especially in a nasty Southern accent* - I'd be "going to the movies" every night, too.

Speaking of which, I see there's a new version of The Great Gatsby coming this winter. I bring it up because someone on Facebook said "it looks like a mess!" How can you tell from a modern trailer where they don't show anything for more than 14 seconds? I mean, there's Toby being all cute and Leonardo being all...Leonardoey, and Carey being all...not Carrie Fisher. He went on to say that "It's really hard to adapt Gatsby." That could be. Made me realize that, while I've read it, I've never seen any of the film adaptations. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.

You know which book is really impossible to adapt? Pamela. There I said it. The elephant in the living room that is Hollywood has been finally let out of its closet. And why is it so hard to make? Because it's about a girl who "although she is attracted to Mr B, she holds out against his demands, determined to protect her virginity and abide by her moral standards." That's right. Her virginity. Takes me back to my own years as an indentured servant. Well, I wasn't a servant, I was just on the assembly line making dentures. But I felt like a servant! And there was my boss always asking me to "stay late" and then chasing me around the lathe that ground down the timber into teeth.

"No," quoth I, "no! Although I am attracted to you, I must hold out against your demands, determined to protect my virginity and abide by my moral standards!"

And you know, just like Pamela's Mr B., my boss came to his senses, realizing that, although I was attracted to him, I was going to hold out against his demands, determined to protect my virginity and abide by my moral standard. And thus, the now 'sband proposed and we got married. He told me that he finally realized that if he was gonna get any of the milk, he was gonna have to take the whole cow. Damn straight!

Hey, wait a minute...

*Yes, there are some southern accents that are sexy, but face it, unlike New Zealand and Australia, where no matter what the accent is, it's sexy. Southern is truly hit n/or miss.