Wend

Wend

So the 'sband is watching Hell's Kitchen and they're picking teams for the final challenge - that is, the top two contenders are choosing.* I mention it cuz the last person to get picked felt like I felt when I was the last to get picked for kickball or baseball or basketball or football or whatever the hell ball we were suffering through - I mean "playing" - that day in phy ed. Luckily in my later high school years sections of phy ed turned co-ed** and there was tennis and curling*** involved.

But I was just thinking that how lovely it would've been if wending a winding trail had been a course in phy ed. Of course that woulda meant that the coach woulda had to actually join in, and well, those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach phy ed.**** But man, I would have loved phy ed if we had to go out walking in the woods.

So what exactly is the theory behind phy ed? Obviously getting physical exercise is really important, but is it purposely set up to make the non-physical feel bad about themselves? Do the idiots - er, people - that set up the class think that jocks suck at academics and this is their way of evening out the psyche field? The jocks get beat up in academics so now is their chance to beat up the smart people. But we all know that's crap cuz the jocks beat up people all the time - they don't need phy ed for that.******

But I have to say that I was never beat up by the jocks. I got harassed by the dirts. Until we got into our senior year of high school and I ended up hanging out with them. Strange bed fellows for sure. Yep, I lost my virginity to this totally hot n dirty guy with a motorcycle. Oh wait, that wasn't me, that was the sister on Roseanne. Never mind. Man, I am all over today! What is my point? Hmmm, tune in tomorrow, maybe I'll have one.

*If you don't know what I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. But I have to say, every one of those people swears more than I could ever even try to.
**When my father and older brother found out I was in co-ed phy ed, they acted like I single-handedly got women the vote or something (in a negative way).
***Hey, it was small-town Wisconsin - curling was, and still is, HUGE.
****Woody Allen*****
*****Ever notice how Woody Allen movies roll the credits "in alphabetical order"? I wonder if they would roll as such if his name was Woody Zimmerschied?
******Yes, this is a gross generalization of stereotypes, but hey, I'm not the one that set up phy ed the way it is.*******
*******Sorry for all the footnotes.