De minimus

De minimus

"So, I hear the report you did was totally lame and only lasted a minute and a half."
"Yea, the teacher said he was gonna give me a de minimus."

This word makes me really happy. De minimus. It just bounces all over the mouth and gums when being said. De minimus. Be sure to hold the s for just a split second for balance and grounding - like the ending of a symphony. Now say it with your eyes half closed and then open them wide by the end of the s.  And now say it while doing your most sexy snarl - like yer going in for some extreme animalistic naughtiness.* Really savor the s on this one. Di minimusssssssss. Say it thusly while watching this (yes, it's safe for work). Isn't that fun?

Did anyone else feel weird when O.N. John came out with that song? It seemed like all of her songs were so pure and wholesome and then she comes out with this. I found it rather unsettling. Not as unsettling as I found her character in Grease,** but still disconcerting. I've never understood, towards the end of the song when the word changes from 'physical' to 'enema.' "Let's get enema"? That sounds icky. Top 40 is so weird.

*And I mean with another human being - if yer mind went anywhere else because you saw the word 'animalistic' you're gross and sick.
**Grease has to be the ultimate virgin/whore story. If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask a feminist.