Florid

Florid

My, color me confused! When I first read this, I thought the word was "fluoride"! Some words do have a wide variety of meanings, but to be a flowery style and a divisive chemical compound was getting me a mite confused!

So then I'm thinking to myself, I'm thinking

"Self," I'm thinking, "we need to write this entry in a florid manner and really let myne reader know of what I am capable!"

And then I realized that the only big words I know are "odious" and "asthmatic," and neither of those is particularly impressive. You know how you can plug in a statement and have it translated from one language to another? They should have that for different levels of speaker. There would be "common," "eloquent," "verbose," and "PhD." And then, once they got those in place, they could get more esoteric: "homey," "drag queen," "corporado," "lumber jack," "redneck," "techy geek," "romance novelist," "groupie," "docent," "ombudsperson," etc etc etc.

Ombudsperson. Now there's a weird word. Same with Registrar. When I first saw those two words on the doors of offices, I thought they had to have just been made up on the spot. I'll bet when pirates retire from life on the seas they try to become registrars.

"Thank you for calling the office of the registrrrrrrrrrrrrarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

After the call...

"I'm sorry, Mr. Beard, we're going to have to..."
"Please, call me Blue."
"I'm sorry...Mr. Beard...we're going to have to let you go."
"Arrrrrrrrrrrr...What? Why?"
"Your call times are double what they should be because of the elongation of your 'R's."
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrre you sure?"

I would continue, but you can see where this is going. Excuse me, I have to go brush my teeth now.