Servile

Servile

You wanna feel servile? Do you? DO YOU? Write a daily blog. Seriously, try it. Do you think I'm having fun writing this stuff? Well, I'm NOT!!! You think I'm all hanging out by the pool, working on my tan and my six-pack, being served nibblies by the cabana boy. I'm not! This is my usual day:

AM
6:00 - Get up and log in to see what the Word of the Day is.
6:10 - Jump in the shower and do my morning toilette.
6:30 - Meditate for 30 minutes on the word to become one with it.
7:00 - First cup of coffee and bran cereal.
7:15 - Search DuckDuckGo looking for additional information on the Word.
7:45 - Give the 'sband a good morning kiss and have second cup of coffee.
7:46 - Search Google Images for additional visual cues of the word.
8:15 - Search the public library databases for additional information on the word, including, but not limited to, The NY Times historical files, Academic Search Premier, American Periodicals Online 1740 - 1941, MasterFile Premier, and Fugitive Fact File.
9:00 - Watch Live with Kelly.
10:00 - Go through personal emails and Facebook and have third cup of coffee.
10:45 - Go through Blog related emails and feedback.
10:46 - Go for stimulating walk to meditate further on the Word.
11:30 - Get the blog ready for writing.
11:45 - Write first draft and drink liter bottle of Mountain Dew.
PM
12:15 - Realize it's crap and rewrite it.
12:45 - Play Bubbletown in frustration.
1:30 - Realize I'm a mess cuz I'm running on caffeine.
1:35 - Eat lunch - usually Earl's Cheese Puffs, a box of macaroni and cheese (sometimes just the powder pack if I don't wanna boil water) and a half-dozen Twizzlers.
2:00 - Watch Bonanza on ME TV. Pine for cable and TCM.
3:00 - Realize I'm having a caffeine crash. Have a Lo-Cal Monster.
3:01 - Rewrite column for third time.
3:30 - Weep silently knowing that the entry sucks like all the other and that no one cares.
3:45 - Watch the story line of "Neighbours" on YouTube involving hot-guy Chris.
4:30 - Read over the blog entry and shake the laptop like it's an Etch-a-Sketch hoping to make the entire virtual world get erased.
4:40 - Do a different Google Image Search.
5:30 - Realize the 'sband is at the front door and nothing has been done for dinner.
5:31 - Give the 'sband a good evening kiss and suggest salads and Lo-Cal Monsters for dinner.
5:32 - Watch 'sband roll eyes and say, "Someone has had enough caffeine for one day."
5:33 - Clutch pearls, gesticulate, and remonstrate vehemently to 'sband how crappy the day went and that the entry is terrible and caffeine is the only thing that keeps me alive and how can I go on? and just one more Lo-Cal Monster is all I ask and that if he loved me he'd make the salads cuz writing is hard and all the online databases at our library suck and can't we move to Mexico and live on beach and I can't think of one freaking thing to write about and
5:47 - 'Sband crabs laptop, read entry, smiles, and says it's great.
5:50 - See entry for 5:33.
6:03 - 'Sband gives me a mouth-covering kiss to get me to shut up.
7:15 - I realize the entry is actually pretty good.
7:20 - Edit and get ready to publish the following morning.
10:00 - Go to bed with the foreboding that drama is somewhere around the next corner of life.

And now you know. My life - welcome to it.