Exigent
So this week I'm writing the entries on the morning of the word. Which means that, even more than in the past, I'm really making this crap up as I go along. Talk about being exigentious!
One of my biggest questions I'm always asking myneself is: should I end this sentence with a period or an exclamation mark?* I'm sitting here drinking the 'Sband's famous 2/3 caff, 1/3 de-caff joe** and, while I'm basically awake, I'm not exactly bouncing off the walls. So every sentence I write initially gets a period. Then I'll read it and think, yes, that's the mood for it. But then I realize that no matter what I write, a period is the mood for everything cuz I'm in a period sort of mood. So I force myself to look into the future where I'll have had two more cups of joe and a shower.
Would I normally say this with more 'Oomph'? Unfortunately, I say things with 'oomph' as often as I have 'a-ha' moments. I hate those expressions, so they never happen and I always have to rephrase the question.
Would I say it like I would exclaim if a certain someone showed up at my door? Well no, I wouldn't scream it like a schoolgirl. So I have to rephrase the question.
Would I say it like I greet the 'Sband every evening when he comes home from the office, opens the front door and says "Honey, I'm home!" Perfect! Yes, that is how I'd..oh boy...uh..ack...gack...yack...yikes, you'll have to excuse me, I think I'm puking up a hairball...
PS: Once again, doing a 'webs search with the WotD brings back the most curious results! If anyone can tell me what this rather odd picture has to do with the company seeking a web designer, let me know and you'll win a prize!*** (Really, and some of you think I'm random!)
*Obviously not that sentence because it's a question; I'm talking, for example, the one before it.
**I don't know either. He just does. I'm sure he's explained why to me, but we've been together for over a decade - we haven't really heard anything the other's said in years. In fact, it sort of ticked me off the other night: "BrieDank," quoth he rolling over, "I can't sleep and am thinking maybe some white noise would help. Tell me all about your day. And then go on and talk about your hopes and dreams for our future together."
***Prize will be a full-screen VHS version of Dinosaurus!, which is actually a rather fun movie.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Mandarin
Mandarin
To give myself ideas on what (the hell) to write about every day, I do a search with the word (of the day) just to see what's out there. Today I was introduced to Iron Man's archenemy the Mandarin who has a striking resemblance to Ming the Merciless. I used to love watching the old Flash Gordon serials on Saturday afternoons. They're flying along in their spaceship and get hit by a ray and start plummeting to their deaths. OMG! Will they make it out alive? Damn it! I have to wait for next week!!
(Seven days later)
The ship is plummeting...!
...but suddenly rights itself!
"Wow, another hit like that and we're done for!"
Really? That was it? I waited seven days for that? Damn it! And they'd get me every time!
Now it happens with White Castle.
"Last weekend when I ate a bunch of these, they really messed up my constitution. But this weekend it'll be fine."
(12 - 16 hours later.)
"Damn it!"
And then there's...
"Last time I bought a Yugo..."
"Last time I adopted a porcupine as a pet..."
"Last time I bet that I could eat a light bulb..."
"Last time I seeded and chopped a pound of Trinidad Scorpion peppers and I didn't wear gloves..."
"Last time I accepted a coffee invitation from Fred Phelps..." Euw euw euw!! That is SO nasty!! Obviously I need to wrap things up here. Euw.
 |
| Oh hey look, I figured how to add captions! |
(Seven days later)
The ship is plummeting...!
...but suddenly rights itself!
"Wow, another hit like that and we're done for!"
Really? That was it? I waited seven days for that? Damn it! And they'd get me every time!
Now it happens with White Castle.
"Last weekend when I ate a bunch of these, they really messed up my constitution. But this weekend it'll be fine."
(12 - 16 hours later.)
"Damn it!"
And then there's...
"Last time I bought a Yugo..."
"Last time I adopted a porcupine as a pet..."
"Last time I bet that I could eat a light bulb..."
"Last time I seeded and chopped a pound of Trinidad Scorpion peppers and I didn't wear gloves..."
"Last time I accepted a coffee invitation from Fred Phelps..." Euw euw euw!! That is SO nasty!! Obviously I need to wrap things up here. Euw.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Catch-22
Catch-22
I will admit it. Despite the fact I was an English major and everything, I've never read Catch-22. I feel oddly unguilty about it. I started watching the movie on TV, but it was half through and I couldn't get into it.* But, as I've mentioned in the past, I read Pamela in college, which more than makes up for it - I just laughed and laughed the entire time I was reading it - comedy gold.
Speaking of books I read in college, the 'Sband and the friend who read this are going to roll their eyes, cuz I'm bringing this book up again but I can't help it. If you read the opening line of just one book this year,** it needs to be the opener for Bellefleur by Joyce Carol Oates. Seriously, click on the Look Inside and read the first sentence.
Are you back? Pretty cool, huh?? I wanted to take a sec' to let you know that I'm trying to get the links to pop up in another window, but stupid HTML. I tried following the instructions, but can't seem to get it to work. Stupid HTML.
*I just realized that could/couldn't "get into it" is probably one of the most used metaphors in our day-to-day language. Seriously, to "get into" a movie or book, one would have to morph, probably a LOT, and crawl "into" the book or movie. Thus, every time someone says "I couldn't get into it," tell them that of course they couldn't, but it's OK because you understand that they are incapable of physically entering it. They will laugh and laugh! After you've done it two or three times to the same person, let me know what the response is - talk about making new friends!
**And I do hope it's way many more than that.
I will admit it. Despite the fact I was an English major and everything, I've never read Catch-22. I feel oddly unguilty about it. I started watching the movie on TV, but it was half through and I couldn't get into it.* But, as I've mentioned in the past, I read Pamela in college, which more than makes up for it - I just laughed and laughed the entire time I was reading it - comedy gold.
Speaking of books I read in college, the 'Sband and the friend who read this are going to roll their eyes, cuz I'm bringing this book up again but I can't help it. If you read the opening line of just one book this year,** it needs to be the opener for Bellefleur by Joyce Carol Oates. Seriously, click on the Look Inside and read the first sentence.
Are you back? Pretty cool, huh?? I wanted to take a sec' to let you know that I'm trying to get the links to pop up in another window, but stupid HTML. I tried following the instructions, but can't seem to get it to work. Stupid HTML.
*I just realized that could/couldn't "get into it" is probably one of the most used metaphors in our day-to-day language. Seriously, to "get into" a movie or book, one would have to morph, probably a LOT, and crawl "into" the book or movie. Thus, every time someone says "I couldn't get into it," tell them that of course they couldn't, but it's OK because you understand that they are incapable of physically entering it. They will laugh and laugh! After you've done it two or three times to the same person, let me know what the response is - talk about making new friends!
**And I do hope it's way many more than that.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Commemorate
Commemorate
I've mentioned in the past how everyone should be a geek about something. I'm a film history geek and the 'Sband is a total classical music geek. I mean total classical music geek. So I was ever so very surprised to learn that neither he nor any of friends in college knew that Mozart and all his friends and cohorts constantly commemorate "Leader of the Pack" in their music.
I don't know about you, but when I think of classical musicians and composers, I think of them as looking down their noses at popular pop music. And yet every time Mozart, et al put a trill in their music, there it is. I'm not talking the trill itself, I'm talking the six notes that are predictably played at the end of it. Here,* if you listen to this, you'll hear the violin go into the trill and then resolve it and...what do you hear? You hear it play the phrase from "Leader of the Pack," don't you? You know you do. I'm just glad the Shangri-Las and their management and the song writers didn't sue anyone.
No reason to thank me, giving these insights is what I'm all about.
*Or 'hear' if you will.
I've mentioned in the past how everyone should be a geek about something. I'm a film history geek and the 'Sband is a total classical music geek. I mean total classical music geek. So I was ever so very surprised to learn that neither he nor any of friends in college knew that Mozart and all his friends and cohorts constantly commemorate "Leader of the Pack" in their music.
I don't know about you, but when I think of classical musicians and composers, I think of them as looking down their noses at popular pop music. And yet every time Mozart, et al put a trill in their music, there it is. I'm not talking the trill itself, I'm talking the six notes that are predictably played at the end of it. Here,* if you listen to this, you'll hear the violin go into the trill and then resolve it and...what do you hear? You hear it play the phrase from "Leader of the Pack," don't you? You know you do. I'm just glad the Shangri-Las and their management and the song writers didn't sue anyone.
No reason to thank me, giving these insights is what I'm all about.
*Or 'hear' if you will.
Monday, June 11, 2012
benevolent
Benevolent
Wow, I must be in a Mood or something because as I sit and try to be ironic with benevolent, I jump over to the dark side and turn sarcastic and/or hateful. Unfortunately, some people claim benevolence to cover their intolerance and control issues, and then people point it out, which at times makes them intolerant and controlling. I hate that - takes all the fun out of ambiguity.
So let's go through historical people who were truly benevolent and what they contributed to us:
So let's go through historical people who were truly benevolent and what they contributed to us:
- Dude what invented wine: gave all those cork tree growers a reason for growing all those cork trees.
- Dude what invented the Wankel engine: gave engineers something to snicker about.
- The City of Hamburg: gave us the Hanseatic League.
- Joan of Arc: gave us the amazing movie The Passion of Joan of Arc.
- Abe Lincoln: allowed "Our American Cousin" to become a part of history instead of just another forgotten Victorian farce.
- Dude what invented the wheel: gave me the only toy I had as a kid - my wheel and my stick to keep it going down the street.
Michele Bachmann- Jesus Christ: Allowed Phil Spector's 'A Christmas Wish for You' album.*
- George Washington: gave us an excuse for cherry pie.
- The 'Sband: laughs at my jokes.
Play along at home time! Who can you add??
*Oooooooh, hope I don't get into trouble for that one...
Friday, June 8, 2012
Shell Game
Shell Game
Don't you think it's rather unnice when parents do a shell game with their kids? My parents used to do it with me all the time when I was in grade school...
"If you can pick the shell with the pea under it, you can go to the fair. If not, you have to dig the potatoes in the back 40 and haul them in to Mr. Peterson."*
Mr. Peterson, of course, was our landowner to whom we had to pay tithes. They weren't really tithes, of course, because Mr. Peterson wasn't a religious organization, but boy did he love his potatoes. I asked my dad once why Mr. Peterson referred to his rent as tithes,
"Because, boy does he love his potatoes."
You know, I had tithes and potatoes so intermingled in my brain that for the first few years of ordering food for myself at restaurants I would always say,
"I would like the cheese burger with a side of Freedom Tithes."
Talk about embarrassing! That's why I was on the cutting edge of ordering a side salad before ordering a side salad was cool. Had nothing to do with watching my health - please, I was in Junior High! - it had everything to do with not wanting to embarrass myself by saying the wrong thing. Ended up, I would always just embarrass myself for being a Junior High kid who ordered a side salad. Stupid Mr. Peterson.
*Is it 'in to' or 'into'? Would one of them mean inside of Mr. Peterson? Stupid English language. I've always said all that money the government spent on trying to get us to convert to the metric system in the '70s woulda been much better spent on trying to get us to switch to a more succinct language! I vote for Sanskrit.
Don't you think it's rather unnice when parents do a shell game with their kids? My parents used to do it with me all the time when I was in grade school...
"If you can pick the shell with the pea under it, you can go to the fair. If not, you have to dig the potatoes in the back 40 and haul them in to Mr. Peterson."*
Mr. Peterson, of course, was our landowner to whom we had to pay tithes. They weren't really tithes, of course, because Mr. Peterson wasn't a religious organization, but boy did he love his potatoes. I asked my dad once why Mr. Peterson referred to his rent as tithes,
"Because, boy does he love his potatoes."
You know, I had tithes and potatoes so intermingled in my brain that for the first few years of ordering food for myself at restaurants I would always say,
"I would like the cheese burger with a side of Freedom Tithes."
Talk about embarrassing! That's why I was on the cutting edge of ordering a side salad before ordering a side salad was cool. Had nothing to do with watching my health - please, I was in Junior High! - it had everything to do with not wanting to embarrass myself by saying the wrong thing. Ended up, I would always just embarrass myself for being a Junior High kid who ordered a side salad. Stupid Mr. Peterson.
*Is it 'in to' or 'into'? Would one of them mean inside of Mr. Peterson? Stupid English language. I've always said all that money the government spent on trying to get us to convert to the metric system in the '70s woulda been much better spent on trying to get us to switch to a more succinct language! I vote for Sanskrit.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Unfettered
Unfettered
If you clicked on the link to the def' you'll see that it took you to the general Word of the Day page instead of the specific page for the word. That's because, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I did not get the WoD email yesterday. Yes, I have been fettered. Me of all people. Fettered. I ask for so little in life, and this happens. I think they're trying to fetter my creative streak. It reminds me of when I was in grade school...
"No, Jackson, you have to color like all the other kids! The last time you melted down the crayons, you just poured them on the paper! It was a mess!"
And then in high school...
"Edward, I don't care what you 'feel' like, this is typing class! You will use capital letters when needed! You're just being lazy! 'Feel' indeed!"
And now there's me. I just hope that, unlike Jackson and Edward, I can continue. I should look those two up and see what they're up to. It's good to know that, no matter what forces are against me - slow internet connection, Merriam Webster not sending the word, Creeping Charlie, flat tires on the train, Communists, my mom and the pope, jellyfish, ramen noodles, verbose authors, athlete's foot, weak coffee, out-of-tune clarinets, in-tune clarinets, the sight of clarinets, the cancellation of Supertrain, the renewal of Two and a Half Men, lack of ideas, bad spelling, the rubber band breaking, the rubber band braking, Olestra, the wheat not growing, Huguenots, six point font, Billy Ray Cyrus, houses the color of Band-Aids, the end of Beta Max, not understanding how vitamins work - well, you get the picture - as long as I can type, I will be writing this column! Oh, and have internet access.
If you clicked on the link to the def' you'll see that it took you to the general Word of the Day page instead of the specific page for the word. That's because, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I did not get the WoD email yesterday. Yes, I have been fettered. Me of all people. Fettered. I ask for so little in life, and this happens. I think they're trying to fetter my creative streak. It reminds me of when I was in grade school...
"No, Jackson, you have to color like all the other kids! The last time you melted down the crayons, you just poured them on the paper! It was a mess!"
And then in high school...
"Edward, I don't care what you 'feel' like, this is typing class! You will use capital letters when needed! You're just being lazy! 'Feel' indeed!"
And now there's me. I just hope that, unlike Jackson and Edward, I can continue. I should look those two up and see what they're up to. It's good to know that, no matter what forces are against me - slow internet connection, Merriam Webster not sending the word, Creeping Charlie, flat tires on the train, Communists, my mom and the pope, jellyfish, ramen noodles, verbose authors, athlete's foot, weak coffee, out-of-tune clarinets, in-tune clarinets, the sight of clarinets, the cancellation of Supertrain, the renewal of Two and a Half Men, lack of ideas, bad spelling, the rubber band breaking, the rubber band braking, Olestra, the wheat not growing, Huguenots, six point font, Billy Ray Cyrus, houses the color of Band-Aids, the end of Beta Max, not understanding how vitamins work - well, you get the picture - as long as I can type, I will be writing this column! Oh, and have internet access.
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