Wifty

Wifty

Yes, I'm feeling a might wifty today. We finally landed from that hot-air balloon ride!! So stupid. We go over rifle ranges and archery ranges, but for some reason when we asked people to shoot at the balloon, no one did! Come on, we're kedging around a Le Car! Obviously we're not in jest!

Well, ends up people have a really hard time shooting at anything with Judge Reinhold painted on it. Oops!

So how did we get down? you may query.

We were passing over a track and field competition, javelins flying all over the place, but of course none at the stupid balloon. Luckily, a pole vaulter was doing this incredible jump and just at his zenith the Le Car passed in front of him and he vaulted right through the front passenger window and landed on the dashboard.  His weight was just enough to bring us down for a lovely landing!

But was he all excited about being a hero? No, he was miffed because we messed up his jump. OOPS! I thought he shoulda won for the perfect front-window entry, but evidently there's no room for such things in the pole vaulting competition rule book. Seems to me that we just created a new event. Picture it, a car hanging from a crane with the front windows rolled down. The vaulter crosses the pole and goes through the passenger window and out the driver window, all without touching the sides - perfect ten! Plus if they screw up we get a good chuckle at their expense.

Ooooh, ouch, that wasn't nice, BrieDank.

Sorry. I just can't help it! I'm just feeling wifty! wifty! wifty! I like being on solid ground.

Kedge

Kedge

I'll bet if I said I was gonna talk about hot-air ballooning, you'd say

"Well, that's a silly season story!"

And you would normally be correct, but it's now Monday and we're still in the air. Yes, 94 hours and, well, I guess we're getting our money's worth.

Between the burner being stuck on high and the winds, we're somewhere over Michigan. Or perhaps Idaho.* Or Illinois. Or Canada. We did get sort of close to the ground once, and our host threw out the anchor to grab onto a tree, but instead of hooking a branch, it hooked on to the Le Car parked next to it. There was a slight fight between gravity and helium, but a gust of wind took us up a few feet causing the engine and drive shaft of the Le Car to fall out - go figure - and it was all the proverbial 'She' wrote. So if you see a balloon with Judge Reinhold painted on the side kedging around a Le Car, that's us.

Just so you're not completely worried, we've been able to snab a goose flying by every now and then to cook over the burner. I tell you, if we really did have a Christmas goose instead of turkey there would be no arguments about someone takin' too much gravy! Do you know how much gravy you could make from one of these things? I'm talking gallons!! And me with no corn starch. I knew I shouldn't have left it in the glove compartment. (Now if we only figure out where to get some fiber....you know what I mean.)


I have to go. "Someone" wants the Galaxy back so he can send another distress signal. blah blah. Compared to the old SOS flares, sending a bunch of texts is SO underwhelming.

*Hey, who you calling a 'ho'? HA! Sorry, not much oxygen up here.